A Giant-Sized Lite Brite (Week 26 of Fireflies at Dusk: A 52-Week Project)

One of my best Gen X memories is playing with my Lite Brite. I remember getting up early before Saturday morning cartoons would start while the curtains were still closed in the living room so that the room would be dark to give the light more contrast. Plugging in the Lite Brite to let the colorful glow reflect on my face while laying on my stomach on shag carpet with a bowl of cereal in hand was a cozy way to start a morning. It was peaceful, even meditative. We took my daughter to the Portland Children's Museum this week and they had this giant backlit board with slots for colored pegs that you could slide in and illuminate. It was mesmerizing to me because it was exactly like my old Lite Brite, but on a much larger scale.  

As part of the Fireflies at Dusk project, I have been looking for ways to pass on my history, my Gen X culture, and other parts of  who I am to my daughter. I hope that when she is older, when she looks back on the entirety of what I strove to teach her and to pass on to her, that she will see a lot of color, a lot of hope, and a lot of light.

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(c) 2011 photography and writing by Chloe - all rights reserved

Vintage Soda (Week 25 of Fireflies at Dusk: A 52-Week Project)

A grocery store where I often shop recently started selling vintage soda bottles. This week, I gave these as an early Christmas present for my husband to put up on a shelf in a room in our house that is decorated in a vintage style.    

Bubble Up (first bottled in Ohio, 1917) - As an elementary school kid, I had a babysitter who had grown up during the Depression and had stockpiles of random things in her house just in case of another one. I remember the huge case of these stored in her garage. If there had been a second Depression in her lifetime, she would have been ready to face it without the worry of running out of lemon-lime soda (if you had lived through the Depression you might do the same.)

Frostie Root Beer (first bottled in Maryland, 1939) -  I remember chugging down a foamy, cold can of it back when cans still had pull tab tops in the early 1980s.

Dad's (first bottled in Chicago, 1937) -  I remember a friend from high school always had this at her house in the early 1990s and she would let us have one whenever we came over for lunch.

Sometimes when I see the transparent color of sodas - like orange or the blue pictured above - I think of all the times I saw these colors in bottles of soda at the the truck stops or convenience stores I've passed through in my nomadic life. Since I began the Fireflies at Dusk project, I have discovered how much color played a part in my childhood, and in all our Gen X childhoods. Distinct colors bring back distinct memories in the same way an old familiar song comes on the radio and in a moment you are transported to another time and another place. Throughout the project, as I have opened containers of play dough, as I have found old copies of my out-of-print textbooks, and as I have looked back on the food that Gen X ate while growing up, I have seen how these still images in our minds - these images of color and shape - have imprinted themselves on our collective memory.

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(c) 2011 photography and writing by Chloe - all rights reserved

Why the Holidays are Hard for Gen X (Week 24 of Fireflies at Dusk: A 52-Week Project)

There were a lot of things going on for Gen X during the holidays of their growing-up years that were difficult. That is in part because Gen X grew up during the highest divorce rate in history, which led to the most blended family situations in history. Take all the complications of that in addition to the usual problems that go on in families -- the hopes and expectations of what we feel the holidays should hold, the hurts and disappointments of what it often does hold -- and you end up with a lot to deal with.

If you are a Gen Xer who had to spend holidays with a step-family/more than one step family, you may have noticed that they didn't really want you there, or they didn't really want you there but tried to at least be cordial (or at least some/most of them did).

Or perhaps you had a step-family that seemed initially welcoming and made you think that you could really be a part of their family until some painful moment occurred when you discovered that you were, in fact, just really an outsider. You may remember trying to navigate your second, third, or fourth step-family situation. This kind of situation is hard because you still have scars from the previous situation, and by this time all your your naivety has been replaced with cynicism, yet you've got to find the energy to completely start again. This kind of situation might mean that you had more than one moment when you are left out of some group conversation at a holiday meal or you don't get the punchline to an inside joke. It was in one of those moments that you realized that you essentially spent your life as some sort of foster child and that you raised yourself.

Now you don't have to go to those holiday dinners anymore. Now you have a choice to do what you want.

This means you do not have to pretend to smile and be happy, or get in trouble for not smiling and being happy.

As you go on in life, when you find yourself sitting at yet another table where you have to swallow your anger or hold back your tears...don't eat at that table anymore. Most importantly, now that you are the adult, make a conscious decision to never treat others the way you have been treated.

If you are a Gen Xer who has created a blended family of your own, remember what it feels like to be the step child -- it would in fact be hard to forget. During the holidays, treat your step children with genuine love as much as possible. Kids can smell fakeness from a mile away, and holidays are some of the most vivid childhood memories they will have for the rest of their life.

One very Gen X person I used to know in college told me a story once that his mom's boyfriend dragged their Christmas tree outside when he was a child, poured a can of gasoline on it, and then lit it on fire. The man was angry that he didn't get to have Christmas as a kid, and apparently that is how he dealt with the anger. My friend was only a little boy at the time -- he and his brother watched through the cold panes of the window as the ornaments melted and the flames scorched the branches. Then he looked at his brother who dryly said, "Well, there goes Christmas."

When I heard this story in college, I felt sorry for my friend and his brother. As I have grown older I have also begun to feel sorry for the tree-igniting boyfriend. I have seen so much more of life and how people's suffering can cause them do hurtful things. My advice this holiday season is to take extra good care of yourself. Bring yourself to the present moment when your mind drifts to unhappy memories, and give others the most genuine love you are able to. Even if your holidays were horrible when you were growing up, even if you have every reason in the world to be hurtful to people, don't be the guy with the gasoline can.

This week, and for the rest of the holiday season, I have given myself permission to go take a moment when I need one, and to take it easy on myself. Take it easy on yourself, too.






(c) 2011 photo and writing by Chloe - all rights reserved

Jumping in the Autumn Leaves (Week 23 of Fireflies at Dusk: A 52-Week Project)

When it comes to the associations and memories of a generation, some things are specific to that generation and some things are timeless in that they apply to everyone. One of these things is scooping leaves into a pile and to jumping into them....

I knew that having a child would make me slow down a lot, but I didn't realize that it would even make me experience time differently. When my little one stops to study a pebble on the sidewalk when we need to be somewhere on time, I need to remember that she is making me live more within time instead of constantly chasing it. This week, I decided not only to jump in the autumn leaves, but also to be more intentional about noticing the tiny things that she notices without rushing myself on to the next thing that needs to be done or looking down at my watch. 

Nothing gets me thinking about time like autumn. All around us are  the red and gold reminders that nothing is permanent. It seems our minds bend in every direction trying to understand time. You always hear the same expressions about time. Adults say things to children like, "You are growing up so fast!"   Or friends reminiscing about a shared past say things like, "Where did the time go?" There are endless clichés about time, and we cannot stop saying them because we are constantly stunned by the way time passes.  

I watch my daughter grab a handful of red leaves and throw them above her head and stomp on the piles I have made for her in the park. I think to myself about how one generation grows up, and another grows old.  I am on the other side of growing up. I am on the side of growing old, and in the bigger picture, I am only in this life for a very short time.

Those once-green leaves that are now being released by their branches and are fluttering down to the earth from where they came.

                                                                          
Let's go jump in them.

This time we have is a gift, don't let it pass you by. The people we love are a gift.

Let's appreciate the gift.   


- A generation comes and a generation goes, but the earth remains forever.  The sun rises, and the sun goes down, and hastens to the place where it rises...Enjoy Life....  - Ecclesiastes

(c) 2011 photo and writing by Chloe - all rights reserved




 

All the Good Food of Autumn (Week 22 of Fireflies at Dusk: A 52-Week Project)

This week the Fireflies at Dusk Project was all about making and eating good Autumn food. This included roasted pumpkin seeds, butternut squash soup with spiced roasted pecans sprinkled on top, and baked cinnamon apples.  Here were the highlights...

An organic pumpkin spice latte on the table on a
 cloudy, cold morning.

Tomato bisque soup with a dollop of sour cream and crushed
pistachios for lunch on a busy Saturday. 

Mini berry cobblers for all! Made with an oatmeal topping and
 homemade vanilla ice cream for dessert at the end of a long day.

Many of the good memories through the seasons of my life have been connected to food. One of the most important aspects of a culture is its food, and a generation is a culture within itself. Many Gen Xers grew up on a lot of processed food/convenience food, and there has been a gradual movement of Xers trying to get back to natural/homemade foods. There are all kinds of food allergies that didn't exist a generation ago, too. I've decided to create a "page" (which can be found at the top of this blog on the homepage) about revisiting Gen X American food in a new and healthier way.






(c) 2013 photos and writing by Chloe - all rights reserved

A Vintage Gen X Halloween (Week 21 of Fireflies at Dusk: A 52-Week Project)

This year my daughter's Halloween costume is serious vintage. I made an amazing find on Ebay: a never-been-worn toddler costume from the 1960s that was cheap because it just needed some repairs and cleaning. Ben Cooper was a company that sold packaged Halloween costumes that included a mask and an outfit:  in this case it was pink fuzzy flannel.

Ben Cooper made costumes from the late 1930s to the early 1990s.
From the 1950s-1970s, the company was iconic of an American Halloween. 

I have a distinct memory of Halloween night in 1979: after I was done trick-or-treating, I remember opening the front door with my dad to hand out candy to kids and seeing a small kid in my neighborhood standing in front of me wearing this exact costume. So either they were still making this costume in the 70s, or it was a hand-me-down from their older sibling. Why do I remember this since I was 3 at the time and now I'm 35?  I have this weird knack for photographically memorizing patterns like the one on Fluffy the Bunny's crazy bow tie...    

Still in the original box! I remember taking my costumes
out of boxes just like this when I was a tot.

I imagine this box being stored in someone's attic under some old Super 8 reels which would explain the dent on top. When I look at the pumpkins at the bottom of the box all I can think of is "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown." They look just like the pumpkins at the party where Lucy goes bobbing for apples and unexpectedly finds Snoopy hiding in the water. 

  

Here's to all the vintage memories of Gen X watching Halloween specials on TV, running through neighborhoods in the dark, collecting candy in the cold air, and feeling condensation form on the inside of a plastic mask that turned you into someone else, even if just for one night.  




(c) 2011 photography and wrting by Chloe - all rights reserved

Gen X and Live Aid (Week 20 of Fireflies at Dusk: A 52-Week Project)

"It's twelve noon in London, seven AM in Philadelphia, and around the world it's time for: Live Aid...."

- Richard Skinner (British Radio and TV Broadcaster) opening the show

Many Gen Xers remember Live Aid as a monumental event that took place on July 13, 1985. The concert  was a collaborative effort between JFK stadium in Philadelphia and Wembley stadium in London, along with acts happening in other parts of the world like the INXS performance in Australia. I remember the buzz going around my sleepy, small-town neighborhood about the event, though at the time I could not have imagined how big it all was. I did not know that weekend would hold "the day music changed history."

I was just an elementary school kid who hadn't really gotten into music yet - I could recognize a couple of Top 40 songs from the radio, but that was about it. By the end of the day though, things had changed - I had been introduced to the best bands of the decade, along with the concept of social consciousness. Bob Geldof of the Boomtown Rats had organized "the greatest live concert ever staged." Roughly $283 million was raised for the famine in Ethiopia at the time.
 

I will never forget that day.  Around 2 billion of us were watching this broadcast. Gen X watched this together from both sides of the Atlantic and countries around the world. I spent the day learning who different bands were. I also worked on learning the names of all the male singers with blond hair - Sting, David Bowie, Tom Petty, Bryan Adams....

Duran Duran had split, but came together for the day. Queen's set was considered by many to be the best performance in rock history. The feed was supplied by the BBC, ABC, MTV, and the radio. Any musician you can think of from that era was there, meant to be there, or helped to write some of the music.  Fuses blew, cords came loose, a generator broke down, but the show went on.

Clips I decided to watch of Live Aid this week on YouTube included:

 Bono saving the life of a girl about to be crushed by a massive wave of  people pushing forward toward the stage - they were performing Bad, and everyone thought he had just picked her to dance with him. These days he regrets the mullet.

Cyndi Lauper's commercial to get people to buy the Live Aid book - unlike now when you can go online and look at info. and photos of an event immediately, back then you had to drive to a book store, bring the book home, open it, and actually turn the pages....

Simple Minds singing Don't You Forget About Me - What could possibly be a more iconic Gen X moment than this?

First wave Gen Xers will remember Live Aid as something they looked forward to for weeks - it was a day they took off to stay glued to the TV. If they couldn't get the day off, they listened to Live Aid from radios as they worked at their minimum wage summer jobs. Second wave Gen Xers like myself were introduced to the music of the time for the very first time. Live Aid was the Saturday we put our cartoons and toys aside to open our eyes to the larger world around us.

 


 
(c) 2011 photo and writing by Chloe - all rights reserved