The Gen X Chronicles: Part Three - The East Side of The Berlin Wall

I had thought that the entire Berlin wall was in a million tiny pieces. I'd seen fragments of the wall that could fit in your hand that friends had bought or received as gifts - gray cement with remnants of graffiti on one side - like too many puzzle pieces to ever be put back together. Watching the news as the people broke those pieces away with pick axes, hammers, chisels, and even bare human hands  was one of the most important historical memories in my Generation X youth.  Until recently, I didn't realize there are enormous slabs of the Berlin Wall in different parts of the world as monuments to history. One of these places is in Simi Valley, CA. 

When I look at the east side of this wall in all of its bleakness, I cannot help but think of how this is just one of a billion different walls that humans have created for each other over time. Throughout history, people and institutions have spent a lot of time trying to hold things in, or keep things out. These walls are created when you feel that any move you make will be judged unfairly. They are created when someone does something to make everyone else live in fear. They  are created when someone tells you that you cannot do something or that you are not good enough, or that or that your perceptions are not credible or that you are not allowed to believe what you believe.

Irina Ratushinska, a Russian Orthodox Christian writer, found herself in a Soviet labor camp for her ideas and beliefs. As a prisoner, Irina carved her poetry into bars of soap, and memorized the words until she washed them away. These words became books that were published later when she gained her freedom. 

So, reader, have you truly found your voice?

Does some wall hold you back? If some bar of soap or scrap of paper is near you, you can start writing now, you can start planning now.  If some laptop or stack of books is near you, you can start researching now.  Get ready now to speak the truth - when the walls come crumbling down, your story will be told - nothing, and no one will stop you.


"Gray is the color of hope."  

                                                                                         -Irina Ratushinska

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(c) 2012 photography and writing by Chloe Koffas - all rights reserved

The Gen X Chronicles: Part Two - Gen X Christmas Trees

At the Reagan Museum in Simi Valley, CA, I got a chance to photograph a seasonal exhibit of Christmas trees - each one a representation of events and pop culture through each decade over the past century. I took pictures of the trees representing the decades that have had the most relevance to Generation X....

The 1970s tree: includes references to Sesame Street, disco, attempts at peace, Star Wars, Jaws....

The 1980s tree includes: E.T., Pac Man, a new presidential administration, the Cabbage Patch Kid, Nintendo, MTV....  

The 1990s tree includes: AOL, the Simpsons, cordless phones, globalization, Furby, Cheers' 200th episode?

The 2000s tree: YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, energy issues/hybrid cars, raising the flag at Ground Zero...

A lot has happened these past few decades....

Merry Christmas, X. 



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(c) 2012 photography and writing by Chloe Koffas (Christmas trees by Reagan Museum volunteers) 

The Gen X Chronicles: Part One - The World We Grew Up In

I recently had a chance to visit the Reagan Museum in Simi Valley, CA. Another name this museum could go by is "The Gen X Chronicles."  There was so much to photograph and write about here, I decided to turn it into a series. For the better part of a decade during the formative years of Gen X, Reagan was the U.S. president, and this museum documents the things that happened during those years. These are the events that had a huge impact on the collective psyche of Gen X.   

There is an area of the museum that has a collage of photos of the era when Reagan came into office as President, along with words that described the issues of the time: shortages, gas lines, job issues, unfair taxes, frustration....

For us, there were little to no golden years.

The Olympics are so important to kids - all our hopes and dreams became manifest in the amazing abilities of athletes we looked up to. Except for when it got cancelled. This might have been when the Cold War became more painfully real to kids who could not yet understand it. 

Stagflation: when the inflation rate is high, economics are slow and jobs are few. An image of an empty factory with the windows busted out. The purpose of the "Morning in America" campaign was to address all these troubling issues, but honestly, I don't really remember it ever feeling like a new day. 

This has been a tough existence.

These are just a few images of what was happening in the news in the formative years of Gen X. As we grew up and became more aware of the world in which we live in, all of this was weighing on our minds along with many other things. 

Unemployment, layoffs, plant closures, double digit inflation. This is all part of what caused Gen X to become a nomadic generation from childhood. I remember one year of elementary school when I watched most of my friends move away one by one because their parents had lost their jobs. Then it was time for me to move away, too, and be the new kid yet again at another school. 

Watching these and other news images as the world distentegrated caused much of the anti-establishment and hypervigilance that became part of us. The hardest thing about looking at these images is that many of these issues are still a reality. The recessions we witnessed in our childhoods is now the Great Recession we must deal with as adults. I saw the Gen X kids on the news picketing and holding up poster board signs demanding their parents' jobs back. Now I watch them on the news standing in unemployment lines, worrying about how to feed their own kids. 

Got a Gen Xer in your life who tries not to be negative, but often assumes the worst will happen?

Cut them some slack. 

People become who they are for a reason.

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(c) 2012 Photos and writing by Chloe/original images from the Reagan Museum.

Battle Born

The Killers often get compared to U2 or to Springsteen. Both of these influences surface in their music, along with other 80s sounds that even sometimes sound a bit like an old Atari game. Bono said he thinks The Killers will be the next biggest/best band in the world. He also said he would give a copy of the Hot Fuss album to the Pope to demonstrate that rock music is not evil.  A lot of the band's lyrics are wrought with true struggle, biblical imagery, a candidness about the broken down state of ourselves and the world, and a very intelligent sense of humor - all lyrics that I feel only a Gen Xer could write. 

Brandon Flowers, the lead singer, is LDS and was born at the tail end of the Gen X window. All the other members are Gen X as well.  At one point when Brandon saw Oasis play at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas where he lives, he realized his calling was to be in a band. 



We saw the Killers live in Portland on Dec 5th for the Battle Born Tour for an incredible show. 

A shower of metallic confetti rains down on Portlanders at the Rose Garden Arena.

Up agains the wall
There's something dying on the street
When they knock you down
You're gonna get back on your feet
No you can't stop now

...

Come on show your face
Come on give us one more spark
So we'll start a fire
Unless we fall into the dark
And you can't stop now - no you can't stop now

- From "Battle Born"



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(c) 2012 photography and writing by Chloe Koffas- all rights reserved

This Hurt Will Hurt No More

It is said that Joey Ramone was listening to U2's "In a Little While" when he died in 2001. Although the lyrics are clearly about being in love, I got to thinking about how parts of this song would resonate with me if I was in a place where I was about to cross over to the other side. My eyes were drawn to these lyrics as I dusted off my All That You Can't Leave Behind album: 

...In a little while
This hurt will hurt no more
I'll be home...

When the night takes a deep breath and the daylight has no air
If I crawl, if I come crawling home
Will you be there? 

After hearing about the death of Joey Ramone, Bono said that the song was initially about a lovestruck hangover, but that Joey turned it into a gospel song. It's kind of amazing the way things come full circle - back in the days of  U2 as a garage band, their initial influences included a lot of punk, including the Ramones. 

And now here we are approaching a time of year that is hard for many Xers: the holidays. While we try to keep up our spirits with new traditions that we have made with our own families, and while we are intentional about bringing back good things we remember - like the TV specials we held dear or good food we ate, there is the undertow of the memories of growing up among a lot of fracture in society - fractures that usually became even wider when the holidays came. 

As the holidays approach, I'm thinking a lot this year about the brevity of life - it helps me to keep things in perspective when it all starts to get overwhelming. I'm thinking a lot these days about how, in a little while, this hurt will hurt no more. 

The Days Go Rushing By

Life is so incredibly short, and when you are a kid, or a teenager, or even a twenty-something, you hear older people say that and you don't believe it. You're not sure what they're talking about. When you are young, time goes by so slow, the minutes and the hours drag on relentlessly. The days and the weeks are endless. It feel like ages just to get from fall to winter. As an adult, time just keeps going by faster. 

In the autumn days of my younger years, time was slow and my mind was always drifting. I would get in trouble for not paying attention in class. My punishment was to stay in at recess....

While winds were blowing out on the playground, I was toasty warm inside. The room was peaceful and I would catch up on my work while listening to the comforting sound of staples being pushed into corkboard as my teacher attached orange and yellow construction paper leaves to the bulletin board. One day of time then is like one month of time now.

When long months stretched out in front of me, I feared that I would be small forever. When seasons seemed to last for years, I hoped that the leaves would stay gold forever.  It felt like those days might go on forever. 

Vintage Travel Pennants and Memories of Magic-Glo'

I remember these old-school travel pennants on the walls of Gen Xers while I was growing up. I don't remember kids my own age having these (second wave Xers) but I have vague memories of seeing these on the bedroom walls of their older brothers or sisters (first wave Gen Xers).    

Hanging these up on the wall could really impress your friends - you would have visual proof of how well-traveled you were and these could also lead to conversations where you could brag about all the cool places you went the previous summer...like maybe Skagway?

I saw these at a quirky Portland store that sells all kinds of very random things (notice the bowl of candy in the background and also the bowl of scissors).

This time of year my mind is illuminated with cartoon characters and vintage fonts and the Magic-Glo of the costumes of the late Octobers of my early childhood. These images can be hard to explain to someone who doesn't know what I'm talking about. It is sort of Hanna Barbara-ish. It is sort of Ben Cooper-ish.... 

Halloween is considered the most important holiday to Generation X. It would be hard to have a Gen X blog and not write about Halloween....while other holidays can be full of family conflict, Halloween is simple - there aren't expectations of you and by putting on a costume you can escape reality even if for just one night. 

Happy Halloween, Xers. 


 

The Party Kitchen!

Remember the Party Kitchen?  

If you are a first wave Gen Xer (those now most likely in their 40s) you might remember your younger sibling having one of these, and if you are a second wave Xer like myself (those most likely in their 30s) you may remember playing with one. Nothing was better than going to play at a friend's house and discovering they owned one of these...this toy made for a very fun afternoon.

 

A friend of mine has this in her kids' play room and she let me take some photos....

Watch out!! These burners look like they're ready to cook anything! The stove top dials can be turned to three different settings in popular early 1980s colors. 

The smoky glass (or maybe just plastic) oven front and cutting edge digital timer - so very 80s.  

A phone that you can talk on while you cook helps with multitasking - 

you can fry eggs while you rotary dial a friend!  

 

The folding side table is waiting for you  to come have a seat - there s a delicious chicken leg ready 

to be eaten with a spork. Appetizing? No?  

Maybe you'd like some waffles instead? They've been on this plate waiting for you since 1983.

Bon Appetit!

 

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(For KB - my wonderful Gen X friend who appreciates rotary phones and plastic waffles a much as I do!!) 




Pumpkin Patch...Photo Set by Chloe

At Lakeview Farm Pumkin Patch in North Plains, Oregon...

 

Morning dew evaporates from a pumpkin in the sunshine and I am reminded of one of my best memories of the earliest part of my Gen X childhood - the first time I carved a pumpkin with my family in the late 1970s. The top came off, the jack-o-lantern's face was carved, 

the smell of fresh pumpkin wafted into the air, and the seeds were roasted in the oven.

That moment held within it everything that was good about autumn.  

 

The Atari Rules.

I recently had the opportunity to do a guest post on the blog, Are You There God? It's Me Generation X.  This is an amazing field guide to Gen X and has been featured in national media.  The writer of the blog, Jennifer James, is an incredible person, writer, and photographer...

Are You There God? It's me, Generation X

 

 

Here is the post I wrote, reposting here with permission:

The Atari Rules.

In the early 80s, when I was in early elementary school, I often went to the babysitter's with a group of kids all roughly my age. She also had a toddler and two kids of her own. The Toddler kept busy with tantrums and snacks of cheese and crackers. The Older Kids were teenagers and I was pretty sure they knew any given fact in the universe.  Mornings before school at their house consisted of watching Scooby Doo. 

Word on the street was that The Older Kids were going to get an Atari. It was decided immediately that The Toddler, known for breaking things, would go nowhere near it. I knew I was going to have to do some serious convincing or they might not let me near it, either.  After weeks of intense back-porch negotiations, it was decided that once the Atari showed up, I could go watch The Older Kids play, and that I might be allowed to play for a minute if I followed the ATARI RULES LIST.

The ATARI RULES LIST went something like this:

1) Do not touch the console.

2) Do not hit the reset button on the console while The Older Kids are playing.

3) Do not stare at the console for too long, because you might become tempted to touch it.

4) Do not complain, make unreasonable demands, or even talk, while in the presence of the Atari.

The anticipated day finally came. I arrived at the house as the morning sun spilled through the window illuminating harvest gold and avocado green items in the kitchen.  I wanted to sprint down the hallway to the room where the Atari was, but I needed to be nonchalant as I entered the presence of The Older Kids as they played the game.

And behold...of my Gen X childhood memories, this is one of the most monumental: walking across the shag carpet of a hallway to see Atari for the first time as it was being played on a black-and-white TV. The asteroids floated by and a spunky little spaceship was shooting at them like crazy. My eyes had been introduced to the pixels. My ears had been introduced to the digital sounds.

I hovered in the doorway.

They hesitated.

I made it clear that their beloved Atari was safe, because I was abiding by the ATARI RULES LIST.  They let me play although I proved to be an amateur asteroid blaster. When my time was up they asked me to hand the joystick back. Weeks of negotiations only led to a few fleeting moments with the game, but Iknew that they saw how much I loved it and that they'd eventually let me play some more. I also knew that morning I had been introduced to something amazing. I walked back to the living room to watch Scooby Doo with The Younger Kids and brag about my morning galactic encounter. 

The New School Year Begins!

My little one is starting preschool this week and the required supply list for the school includes a lunch box.  I found this vintage style Peanuts lunch box online. I remember a couple of kids in my 1st grade class having blue Peanuts lunch boxes...

While my Gen Z daughter will soon enough have her own pop culture, for now, I want to give her as much Gen X pop culture as I can. And some things seem to span the generations - some things somehow end up timeless. I think Peanuts is one of these things. 

"FRANKLIN, I CAN TELL THE TEACHER MY OWN NAME!"  

"...EGGS AND PUMPKINS!"

"CARROTS AND COCONUTS!"

Photos by Chloe, Lunchbox: © 2011 Peanuts Worldwide LLC, original illustrations by Charles Schulz

The Last Days of Summer

If I had to make a list of the symbols of Gen X 's formative years, this giant slide would definitely make the list. I remember being at a carnival as a six years old - climbing the colossal staircase and racing down on a rectangle of burlap. 

I call these kinds of slides Gen X slides

I remember standing at the top of the slide like I was on top of the world. I refused let fear take over as I stood looking at all the faraway people below. Instead, I chose to embrace the rush. I think I'm in that place in life again now....

This week my family and I went to Oaks Park in Portland and it was my little one's first time to go to an amusement park. She loved it more than I would have even expected. Whether it was the mini roller coaster, or the kid-sized hot air balloons, she was fearless. 

May your last days of summer be full of sweet moments, and firsts, and fearlessness. 



Oregon Coast

The West Coast is such a Gen X place, from the film studios of Southern California where they made the movies we watched in theaters up to the Northern CA and Oregon coasts where they filmed movies we watched on VHS. The Pacific Northwest is an especially big piece of the landscape of Gen X since this is where grunge emerged. So many stories are here. So many of our stories are here. 

(c) 2012 photos by Chloe - Oregon Coast 

Xingularity

There is an amazing film about Generation X currently in production called Xingularity. 

The film's web site defines singularity:

a point or region of infinite mass density at which space and time are infintely distorted by gravitational forces and which is held to be the final state of matter falling into a black hole. 

In Natural Sciences: 
a point in space time in which gravitational forces cause matter to have an infinite density and zero volume. 


And the film itself is described by those creating this amazing project: 

Xingularity is a wholly independent, raw and unflinching deconstruction of the variable that is Generation X. 

An attempt at exploring and redefining aspects of the most unconventional, ill-defined and misunderstood generation in American history. 

Much like our lives, it is a 'work in progress'.

Here is the YouTube teaser - I shed a few tears as I watched many important pieces of my Gen X history and the history of the Gen X collective experience unfold...



www.genxfilm.com

The film's web site is beautifully done and you'll find a nostalgia link listing many events and issues that Gen X is familiar with, along with many words that describe who we have been or who we are now like: indefinable, angry, rebellious, abandoned, questioning, and anti-establishment. 

Manny Merchan, Kerri Merchan, Kendra Kabasele, and all those working on the project are in the process of creating something well-researched, insightful, and undoubtedly profound.  I can hardly wait to see where this will take us...



The Miracle of You

You are a miracle.  Every one of your direct ancestors - going back through all the generations before your generation to the beginning of humanity as we know it - lived to pass on the DNA that became you. 


Author and blogger Dr. Ali Binazir did the actual calculations and the probability of your existing at all is:

 1 in 10^2,685,000

Various analogies can be given to try and wrap your head around this number.

One example is this: two million people getting together each day to play a game of dice with a trillion sided die...and they all come up with the same number.

Another example comes from Buddhist teaching: Imagine there was one life preserver thrown somewhere in some ocean and there is exactly one turtle in all of these oceans, swimming underwater somewhere...the probability that you came about and exist today is the same as that turtle sticking its head out of the water - in the middle of the preserver.  On one try.


Here is my analogy: Let's say there was a factory that makes confetti cake sprinkles and of all the millions of sprinkles, there is one that has been marked with your initials on it. Let's say every employee in the factory takes all the lids off every container in every case of sprinkles in the whole building and throws them up into the air as high as they can simultaneously. Let's say someone is walking around in random patterns all over the factory and this person lifts up his hand in the very moment the sprinkles are launched...only to catch the one piece that has your initials on it in the center of his palm. 

A recent article on a Catholic web site does a great job on explaining the sanctity of this...

http://blog.adw.org/2011/09/the-probability-of-you-existing-at-all-is-almost-non-existent-a-brief-refelction-on-the-contingency-of-our-being-based-on-a-recent-math-article/

And here we are above in one big group photo - Generation X!

You landed in the palm of God's hand.  Live your life like it is a miracle.  It is. 



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(c) 2012 photography and writing by Chloe - all rights reserved

Ground Kontrol

I recently went with a friend to Ground Kontrol, a well-loved retro Portland arcade. The place was full of Gen X and Gen Y people, and a lot of familiar classic arcade games like Tetris, Donkey Kong, Tron, Pac-Man, Centipede, and others. I noticed a few priceless Gen X images around and I decided I would have to snap a few shots to share...

This image will forever be ingrained in the visual memories of  Gen Xers.   

Mappy?  I don't remember this one.  

Very cool under-lit tables bring ambiance to the restaurant/bar area.  

Friendly, bearded people drinking unpretentious beer, a prominently displayed

 recycling center, and a menu with gluten free options on it..what could be more Portland than this?  

Fiber optic lighting, and restrooms that have to-the-pixel Pac-Man/Ms. Pac-Man tile mosaics on the bathroom floor, and a fun overall ambiance....

In addition to regular video games, there are also a lot of pin ball machines on the upper level.  Here are some images from an a seriously old-school early 70s game:

As Gen Xers lived a nomadic existence in their growing up years, an arcade was a place that they could go that would more or less be the same from one town to another. Video games and pinball machines have truly become part of the landscape of our collective experience.

Thanks for reading, and may you have the kind of week where you unexpectedly get 1000 bonus points 

all at once....

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(c) 2012 photography and writing by Chloe - all rights reserved